Not Me Monday Sauces, Snarls, and Snickers

Unfortunately my “Not Me Moday” post will be missing some great and embarassing pics…not because I choose not to take them, but I simply did not have my handy dandy camera close by.

I certainly have no reason to post today since my dear children are always so well behaved.
I would never look out the window and catch my 7 year old take hold of his pants, looking around in all directions and begin an atempt to “relieve himself” over the wall in our front yard that drops directly to the road. My oldest daughter was not at all disgusted and he did not return her threats with “I was just thinkin’.” My son would never try to hide any of his actions you know.

I did NOT overhear said daughter playing with my 6 month old and instead of saying “Smile. Smile!” like normal people do, she did NOT say “Snarl. Snarl!” as my sweet little child had NOT learned a new way to wrinkle her nose that looked as cute as a button. No, I would never think that was cute.

OH Yeah. I would never depend on my new fancy smancy I-Phone to alert me of an impending appointment with my dentist and put the pm instead of am and have to rush out the door in a slighty dirty t-shirt. I did not hop in my van and pick up my purse in a rush and knock a full,though open container of Mickey D’s honey mustard sauce onto myshirt and my lap.

NO! This would never happen because my children are always obedient and very thorough when they clean the van. And, of course, we always eat way too healthy to ever eat those chicken thingys.

I did not miss seeing that that mustard had attached itself to my purse and proceed to put the purse on my lap. It did not somehow end up all over my fingers. I didn’t see this and smell something and think “uhoh” and notice my lovely mess. (One can never keep enough napkins and wipes handy with a bunch of kids around!) Of course I noticed that the open sauce was on the floor under my feet as I drove and I did not pick it up and put it on the dash. Because if I did that, it might have slid off the dash and make a bigger mess elsewhere in my van. Never would I attempt to drive and wipe this mess at the same time.

I am sure that I did not smell like I had just ate a box of 50 chicken nuggests upon entering the dental office…

And, NO I was NOT late for my appointment…I am ALWAYS on time.